It’s Not Just You Either

Happy Friday!
We had our first snow last night. I’ve grown to really not like the cold and the snow, but the first snow of the season is always welcome. I hope you are finding some joy in the winter weather too.
I would describe myself as being a total grumblebunny for the past couple of weeks. I have a mindset that says if you put in the time, put in the effort, follow the rules and are open to learning new things you will get the results you’re looking for. In the past few months I’ve felt this is not necessarily true. I feel like I’m climbing a steep mountain and every time I make real progress, I hit a mud patch and go sliding back down the hill.

This past week I read a blog post by YA and NA author, Dahlia Adler. She titled the post, “It’s Not Just You.” ( It included a list of the worries and insecurities authors have, beginning each one with “It’s not just you who…” Although not every item on the long list pertained to me, enough of them rang true to the point the post stuck with me. Heck, I went back and read it three times.

I had been talking to another author before reading this post about my lousy time in to results out ratio and said, “This isn’t a case of misery loves company.” I didn’t want to hear about someone else suffering the same thing. I take no pleasure in other people being frustrated or unhappy. I was content to put it all on me – if I’m having trouble achieving X and I tell myself everyone else is easily achieving X, then it must just be me. I have to do something more or something different, I have to discover what they have all discovered to reach that success. Otherwise it would all just seem hopeless.

After I read the post though, I thought more about it. I still get no pleasure knowing someone else feels low about similar situations, but it is comforting on some level to know there are people out there who know exactly how I’m feeling – that it’s not just me. They are worrying about sales numbers, author bookings, finishing the next book, and wondering if their agents are doing for them what someone else’s agent is doing.

This “is it just me” feeling doesn’t belong to authors alone. I think most people experience it now and then. I don’t believe there is a parent on Earth who hasn’t felt that way at least once. (As in, am I the only mom who hates dance recital season?) Do you ever have a “Is it just me?” moment? How do you deal with it?

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